Last Report
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Author's Note: It's called Last Report for several reasons. One is because it's the last day of the year, which happens to be the last year of that Era. This is also in the Dragonfly/Rubble/Pinacho world. Actually, the name under which all of them go under is "Finding the Sun Again" (FTSA) from the first two stories (Which I still have to type up...I have them in manga form though. Badly....Seventh grade..Not that I'm much better) I should come up with a better name.
Last Report
Year 0 B.T.E
New Year’s Eve
United States
Lawrence scowled.
“Jesus, Jessie,” he said, driving the ancient Chevy down the path through the middle of nowhere. When was the last car like this even made, anyway? Jessie wasn’t listening; she too busy taking notes and pictures with some camera, which was probably just as old as the car. Maybe older.
“Jessie,” he said again, “I told you, I don’t like this…”
“Oh, relax,” she said with a laugh, sitting crossed legged in her seat, “They’re fine, really. I don’t even think they’re near the process of making them ‘awake’ yet.”
“Uh-huh,” replied Lawrence, skeptical, making a sharp curve, resulting the recording camera in the back to shift across the seat.
“Be careful,” scowled Jessie, taking it and putting it in her lap.
“Whose idea was it to take the Chevy,” said Lawrence, playfully , holding onto the top of Jessie’s head.
“Ow, hey- stop it!” Jessie said, laughing, trying to get his hands away, “They don’t allow new technology around- interferes with the signals or something like that.”
“’New’?” repeated Lawrence, letting go of her forehead to make another turn, “So why couldn’t we have used a Whisper?”
Jessie shrugged.
“Parking’s over there,” she said, pointing at the parking lot’s direction.
As he pulled in, Lawrence whistled in mock shock. There wasn’t even a hover lot. Go figure. A woman in a purple suit was waiting for them, and held out her hand to shake with a big, fake smile. Nevertheless, she was quite beautiful, Lawrence thought. He shook her hand.
“I’m Lawrence Hill,” he said, “and this is my cousin, Jessie. Happy New Year.”
“The same,” the woman replied, “Welcome to the United States only A.I .H company, Mr. and Ms. Hill.”
“Err,” replied Lawrence, uncomfortable at the formality, “Just Lawrence.”
“Right,” replied the woman, smoothly, “This way.”
Lawrence held the camera over his shoulder, coldly following the details of the facility, the A.I.H, and Jessie interviewing scientists, mainly their guild, and the lady from the door.
“Are you getting this?” she asked him between shots.
”Yeah, yeah,” he replied, staring into the room they were near; a design room. An A.I.H, female model was casually supported on a stand, next to a giant box. There were several people in the room, discussing something, one taking notes.
“What’s going on?” asked Jessie, tilting her head, looking into the room.
“Oh,” replied their guild, waving her hand casually, “they’re just discussing packaging details. You know, for public sale. We’ve created models for domestic use as well as military. ”
“Sale?” mouthed Lawrence to Jessie.
Jessie ignored him and continued her interview, walking down the corridor. He scowled, but had no choice but to follow the two women down the hall, discussing the distribution of these robots.
“Ask her if they’re dangerous,” he whispered to Jessie while they were taking a filming break in the facilities cafeteria. Lawrence noted that the food was quiet excellent, though the pizza didn’t quite match up to his hometown’s.
“But why? You heard her…”
“Military use!”
“Domestic, too.”
“Wonderful,” Lawrence murmured, taking a sip of his Coke.
Jessie munched on her salad, thoughtfully.
“You know,” she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “I…I feel sorry for those things.”
”What do ya mean?” Asked Lawrence, though he felt that he had a pretty good idea of what was going on. He remembered the doll from before.
Packaging details.
That’s what the lady had said, and so casually, too.
“ Well, they’re…almost like animal experiments, aren’t they?” she said, her eyes glittering as if her thoughts were the engine that kept her running, instead of a heart and brain.
“I guess,” Lawrence said, indifferent, “But wasn’t that illegal?”
“In most states,” Jessie corrected, “But the point is that it’s all the same thing! It’s kinda cruel…”
“I thought you were one up for all of this,” Lawrence pointed out, gesturing towards the camera.
Jessie nodded.
“Yeah,” she admitted, “It would be really cool…”
“So what’s your problem, then?”
“I…I don’t know.”
But Lawrence did know. It was eerie and unnatural how these experiments were being carried out….Out of all things, they had to be human shaped!
Why human, he wondered, shuddering; that girl had looked so real.
That just makes it even creepier…
He checked the clock on the wall; they would have to pick up again, soon.
He noticed that Jessie appeared lost in thought, almost confused. He smiled, and ruffled her hair.
“Come on, I got an hour of tape left,” he said, “I wanna go back soon…Your mom don’t like to wait.”
Jessie nodded, eagerly.
“Okay,” she said, picking up her trash, and throwing it away. Lawrence did the same before picking up the camera and camera bag again.
“Next interview is in twenty eight minutes,” Jessie informed Lawrence. Before he could even ask where it was, she power walked out of the cafeteria and into the long corridor.
“Shit,” Lawrence muttered, staring at her, blankly. Why was she so upbeat all the time? It was so tiring! He gave a small sigh as he shifted the bag onto his right shoulder in a more comfortable position before rushing out of the cafeteria in pursuit.
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written by shy0ne , June 04, 2010
written by Keba Si Rota , June 06, 2010
The story left a lot of questions unanswered. For example, were Lawrence and Jessie professional reporters? What does the A.I.H. do, exactly? What were those human-like doll things? What was Jessie talking about early in the story when she said something about being "awake"? Heck, I'm not even sure I caught what A.I.H. stands for.
Some SPG stuff:
Jessie wasn’t listening; she [was] too busy taking notes and pictures with some camera, which was probably just as old as the car. Maybe older.
Lawrence held the camera over his shoulder, coldly following the details of the facility, the A.I.H, and Jessie interviewing scientists, mainly their guild, and the lady from the door.
This is a run-on. You could break it up into more sentences to make it easier for readers to follow.
Also, I wasn't sure what you meant by "guild". It took me awhile, but after you wrote about how the "guild" replied to a question, I figured that you accidentally wrote "guild" every time you meant to write "guide".
All in all, I think this story could use some more developing. On the bright side, you're improving on your SPG. That's always a good thing.
